There's something about supposed gloomy music that I like... it's like rainy days and Sandra Bullock movies and Carnation instant hot chocolate (the kind with the little marshmallows in it). It pulls at the heartstrings and makes you think of things you normally wouldn't. Things like high school grad and your first kiss... your first heart-break... a time when you were sick and someone took care of you or vice-versa. It brews up these tangible moments in your life when it didn't feel like some part of you was in fast forward. When everything was so still and you loved the proverbial silence of it (even if that silence only existed in your head).
Why, you may ask, would you intentionally make yourself feel a little gloomy. Well first of all, a lot gloomy usually requires anti-depressants (har har) and because there are so many sides to a person... so many emotions and fractured pieces, each cut off from the other that it's only healthy to let each individual part out for a stroll now and then. It's definitely how I keep my sanity a lot of the time.
Some of the best sleeps I've ever had are after an episode of extreme makeover home edition and a good sob (that shit should be outlawed). Just the same as you can fall asleep so soundly after a great night with friends or in the arms of someone special. It's all good emotion (yes...sadness can be a 'good' emotion...I know... even I was shocked at first). I've learned (and am still learning in many ways) that all the different sides of you that people know you as...whether it be the brother or the son or the friend or the lover... all of it is the exact same person. In different shades of yourself (Yes... even the gloomy music side). And I'm beginning to love every part of that. Every part of me. Ahhhh! Finally!
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